Understanding the importance of one another...

This entry needs an introduction. Christine is in my book group and I've discovered the she has an "army" of people who love her. They are fighting hard right along side her. Her husband called me out of the blue one day (unknown to Christine) and said he wanted to be a corporate sponsor for the F.A.B. 5k. His devotion to her was evident in his voice when he asked about helping us out. Her friends have formed a team (with great t-shirts, I hear) and will walk with her at the F.A.B. 5k. Her family and friends have formed a formidable army to help Christine through this journey. They're as much about lifting her spirits as they are about helping her heal physically. I am so inspired by Christine and these people who love Christine. So, read the following entry from Christine's Sister-in-law and be inspired. 

It was one of those dreary January days.  I had just finished brushing the snow off my car and as is my habit called my mom.  I was driving to pick up my 7 year old from school and would take these few minutes to share the trials of my day with my mom.  However,  today was different.  My mom interrupted me with, “Christine has breast cancer”. “Christine who?”  I replied.  “Your brother’s wife, Michelle!”  In my head this was not making sense.  We spoke for a few more minutes, stunned and then I called Christine. Forever, this would change our family…

Today, however is different.  Mother’s Day 2012.  Christine and I are sitting on the deck at the lake and we are watching my dad string a fishing pole for my nephew.  My daughter and her cousin are playing on the edge of the lake with a pirate ship.   My husband and my brother are sharing a laugh as they watch the girls play.  We are relaxed – lazy even. My mom is in the kitchen cutting up some fruit for lunch.  So, as we sit watching the scene I ask her to tell me the whole story…

“For well over 6 – 8 months I had ignored breast changes in “Lame Lefty”.  I even spoke to some friends who all said they had discharge after breast-feeding.  This made sense to me.  I continued to ignore more warning signs. 

My book club was reading a book about breast cancer and as I finished reading the book  I noticed in the endnotes that the author said she had wished her mom had listened to the warning signs maybe she would be here today.  As a result, I decided for 2012 to take my health more seriously and at 38 would go to my doctor and share my concerns.  At that appointment my doctor was unable to hide the shock on her face about the issues I’ve been having and immediately sent me for a mammogram.  I was scared but still felt that it was nothing.  I was 38!  The mammogram results found a “spider web” of calcifications throughout the left breast.  The first biopsy was negative.  However, the doctors decided to go for a more invasive biopsy a week later.  The second biopsy indicated that I did have cancer cells and my diagnosis was DCIS, Ductal Carcinoma In Situ.  My world was crashing down around me.  How is this possible?  In addition, I was receiving conflicting information from the doctors who thought that perhaps the symptoms were not consistent with the diagnosis!  It was a daily roller coaster that my family started to grasp onto the fact that it is cancer.

Later in the month, I went to genetic counseling and genetic testing.  This is when I found out that my aunt had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and that my family history is checkered with cancer primarily on my father’s side.  However, the genetic counseling added a whole new layer of anxiety to our lives.  We were unsure of the results and constantly spoke of “what if”.  What will this mean for my children, my niece, nephew?  What will this mean for me?  The test results were returned and as a result the decision to have a double mastectomy was made in part because of my family history of breast and prostate cancer. 

As the plethora of testing began for scheduling the surgery and follow-up care I found that my husband, Bryan, was a great source of strength.  I relied on my family and friends and was amazed by their level of support.  Today, I’m still amazed by the tremendous support of my family & friends.  I’m not sure that emotionally I could have managed without my support network.  Anyway, after surgery the breast tissue was sent for extensive testing.  The result of the testing was Atypical Ductal Hyperplasia in my right “healthy” breast which is considered pre-cancer and would have increased my risk of developing breast cancer 4 to 5 times over the average life-time risk if not removed.  In addition, the doctors felt  they had succeeded in removing all the cancer in the "Lame Lefty" and the three lymph nodes came back negative, as well.  I felt like I had the winning lottery ticket having made the decision to have the double mastectomy! Who would have thought that someone would be happy to find more cancer cells!  I was just so glad to be rid of them!” 

As we sat together looking at the lake we realize that our lives have changed.   I’m not sure if we will ever go back to that group of people who did not have cancer touch our lives.  We understand the importance of each other.  We are more present, more in the moment and so much more appreciative of each other.  Lots more hugging, more laughing and of course, some tears.  Christine's journey is not over but we are all better able to handle the trials as they lay before us as a stronger family! Perhaps that is something that Cancer left us with.  God Bless!  

Inspiration

Inspire: Arouse by divine influence

Inspire: To breath life into, to inhale. 

Inspire: To stimulate action

Inspire:  My wife Jan and I are breast cancer survivors.  I can say that right? I mean, If Jan can claim that WE mulched the yard and WE moved all the heavy landscape rocks from the front of the house to the backyard then WE are breast cancer survivors.  Our 3 kids were 8 months, 2 & 4 (now 7,9 & 11). How did WE do it? Who took care of Jan all day while I went to work? The baby? Got the kids ready for school and picked them up? Groceries? Laundry? How long did we need help? 

Strength, Courage and Faith. Breast cancer is a battle that no one should go through alone.  WE needed each other.....WE needed family, friends, neighbors. Some "perspective" I now realize is that people need people during turbulent times.  WE needed everyone that supported us....many of which I did not even know. Our experience does not define us, but reflection does give us perspective. Some day you may need support or be needed by your family, friends or neighbors.  You may be needed now. Many great woman, young and old; moms; daughters and sisters have and will battle breast cancer. For those that leave us too early, let their exhale be the breath of life we inhale and inspire us to support others in their loving spirit. Fight for those that need help fighting. Be the footsteps in the sand. You may find perspective in the process and may just be inspired.  Jan and I (WE) were meant for each other. I really don't see getting through that time possible with anyone else. She inspires me with her strength, her beauty, the twinkle in her eye, her capacity to give...Jan is Genuine ( t-shirts to follow). So yes, WE are breast cancer survivors and WE did mulch the yard. It is in giving that you will receive. Hope to see you at the F.A.B. 5K.

Mom: A True Warrior

As we celebrate my mom’s 76th birthday & Mother’s Day this month, I realize what a survivor she is of breast cancer without ever being diagnosed.  Being the mother of 5 girls she has watched us all battle bullying, heartache, happiness, pregnancy, miscarriage, sickness and worst of all breast cancer.  I am a mother myself of two daughters.  Young as they are now its hard for me to step back and let them fight their own battles, deal with their friends and basically grow up.  I admire my mother because she is still standing even after losing my sister Charmaine over 2 years ago and she is still waging a war on Breast Cancer.

Have you seen her at the water station every year?  That’s my mom, Carol.  Her blue eyes sparkle on the corner where I grew up as she passes out the water to those running and walking in honor of her daughters and the others in our community fighting breast cancer.  Her eyes should be a beacon for those who are in the throws of cancer especially the mother’s of those who suffer or those who are suffering.  Think of the band aid you are constantly at the ready with and now imagine their is no band aid to take away what is happening to your own child.  Like entering motherhood, there is no training or true book to tell you how to handle things when breast cancer invades your family so my mother did what she did best she kept everything normal.  Having teenagers at home she made life “go on.”  Sure being a true Irish woman, our house was spotless during Charmaine’s first diagnosis.  She continued to work and in so doing she set an example for me.  I realized that I had to keep going. I couldn’t let my grades slip or fall into bad habits.  When is was her turn to battle the beast of cancer, Non-hodgkins Lymphoma she did the same thing.  Life went on and so did she.  She could take the chemotherapy and radiation because her daughter did.  Not only has my mother seen the ravages of breast cancer take one daughter, but she has seen the triumph of remission in another and in herself.  

I don’t always tell her but I am in awe. My mother is a fighter.  Her tiny stature holds a warrior to be reckoned with.  Yes, she has had her moments in which Charmaine’s, Julie’s and her own diagnosis have weakened her resolve but yet she bounces back.  We joke with her about her compulsion to return everything (ask her about the 9 couches sometime) or her sweatshirt that says, “its all about me!”  which is her mantra, but she deserves to have what she wants and to make it all about her.  She’s 76 , grandmother of 13 and great-grandmother to almost 5 (one is due in July) but she has waged a war and I hope that the F.A.B. 5k can make her triumphant.  She smiles, laughs and enjoys life because well that is what Charmaine did and so that is what my mom will do.  If you are on the course of the F.A.B. 5k and see her (though its hard because she is so petite), say hi and realize you are in the presence of a warrior in the Fight.Against.Breast cancer!